I’m having a day. You know the kind of day that you literally want to punch someone in the face. Yup that’s the kind of day. I’m pretty good at not letting people push my buttons but sometimes, I literally have to pull myself back.
In my line of work I have to be the calm one. As they say never let them see you sweat. This also leads me to another thought. Are people so full of themselves or just miserable so they want to make others be a part of their misery. I take comfort in a thing called karma and it’s a bitch when it comes around. There are peace killers in this world if you let them, they will steal your joy.
I’m going to take the remainder of this lunch hour to regain a positive energy and make the remainder of my day better.
You know that nagging feeling you get that just won’t go away, the one that says you’re in the wrong situation. Or the feeling you get that you’re not in the right place, or with the right person. It’s called intuition for a reason. It’s your sixth sense telling you to run, protect yourself. It’s trying to keep you from harm.
Too many times we don’t listen to our intuition, our inner voice and then we regret it. So if you have that nagging feeling of impending danger or if you feel like something is about to happen don’t ignore it. The little voice is trying to tell you something.
I have to say that motherhood is frustrating, scary, full of uncertainty, but most of all filled with love. This past year my kid I have been through what I’d call a storm. I should probably call it growing pains. We often pray for patience but don’t understand it when we are given situations that will require us to be patient. We want the situation solved. However that is not how life works.
I’ve seen myself grow so much as a mom this year. I have suppressed anger and judgement in order to be a better mom. At the end of it all the goal is not perfection but to learn from experiences. I would not trade this relationship with my son for anything in the world. In the end he makes me want to be a better person. I only hope that he sees in me what I see in him and that is a person willing to give their all for what they love.
I’ve never been a fan of cooking. While I’m skilled at fashion the same cannot be said for cooking. I’m not the girl who can just whip something up, that’s not happening. I need help, I need step by step instructions to not ruin a meal. So I’ve been toying with the idea of trying a service that sends me all of the ingredients to make the meal, and all I have to do is follow the directions.
So I jumped off the ledge and decided to try Blue Apron. Now I don’t have a lot of down time so I have to plan for when I’m going to cook. When I made my first meal I was a little nervous, but it turned out well. I said to myself there you have it you can do this. The thing that I really like is if I don’t want meals for any particular week I can cancel the order. The program is a bit pricey at $60 per week but it works for me.
I am no longer nervous to make a meal as I don’t have to be creative, Blue Apron does that for me.
So finally cooking does not cause me undue stress. Yay!!
I’ve always been self conscious about me. Why you ask, I have no clue. Maybe people telling me you’re too thin or just not accepting me for me was the cause. As I got older I started realizing I don’t need approval. Some comments could have been made out of jealousy I guess. The thing is I fell into the trap.
Now so many years later with a sound mind a workout regimen and more confidence than I’ve ever had, I’m living my best life. Not being ruled by society’s standards I’m just being me. I’m comfortable in my skin and it shows. I’m a work in progress. It it feels so good to no longer care what people think. So as I strut down the street with my Carrie Bradshaw theme song playing in my head…. I just smile. Contentment is so good.