Sometimes life gets crazy busy with all sorts of things being thrown at you. It have been that type of week for me. Adulting is sometimes overrated. Single motherhood is hectic but, I look back and I smile. I see how far I’ve come. I see the perseverance and the hard work. I see the never say can’t attitude that I have. I learn from past mistakes which has made me a better person. On weekends like this I lay low and relax so that I can be better prepared for this upcoming week. There is nothing wrong with sleeping in or binge watching tv. I hope your weekend was as productive or non productive as you wanted it to be.
We live in a world that moves so fast. In the blink of an eye the days, turn into months, and the months turn into years. We women rush around trying to keep a zillion balls up in the air and we actually get upset when one or two of them fall.
We are adored for how strong we are so we do stronger better than anyone else. We keep it all together professionally while slowly feeling like ugggghh do I really want to do this all of the time. We push ourselves beyond limits, we tell the world there is nothing we can't do.
I can't tell you how many times I've been told how strong I am. In my usual way I smile. Strong is who I am, and strong is who I have to be to survive. However every once and a while, I don't want to be that woman. I want to not be strong, I want to take off the armor and to just be needed and loved. When the weeks get long and tumultuous these are the things I dream of. Just a little love ❤️.
I’m having a day. You know the kind of day that you literally want to punch someone in the face. Yup that’s the kind of day. I’m pretty good at not letting people push my buttons but sometimes, I literally have to pull myself back.
In my line of work I have to be the calm one. As they say never let them see you sweat. This also leads me to another thought. Are people so full of themselves or just miserable so they want to make others be a part of their misery. I take comfort in a thing called karma and it’s a bitch when it comes around. There are peace killers in this world if you let them, they will steal your joy.
I’m going to take the remainder of this lunch hour to regain a positive energy and make the remainder of my day better.
You know that nagging feeling you get that just won’t go away, the one that says you’re in the wrong situation. Or the feeling you get that you’re not in the right place, or with the right person. It’s called intuition for a reason. It’s your sixth sense telling you to run, protect yourself. It’s trying to keep you from harm.
Too many times we don’t listen to our intuition, our inner voice and then we regret it. So if you have that nagging feeling of impending danger or if you feel like something is about to happen don’t ignore it. The little voice is trying to tell you something.
I have to say that motherhood is frustrating, scary, full of uncertainty, but most of all filled with love. This past year my kid I have been through what I’d call a storm. I should probably call it growing pains. We often pray for patience but don’t understand it when we are given situations that will require us to be patient. We want the situation solved. However that is not how life works.
I’ve seen myself grow so much as a mom this year. I have suppressed anger and judgement in order to be a better mom. At the end of it all the goal is not perfection but to learn from experiences. I would not trade this relationship with my son for anything in the world. In the end he makes me want to be a better person. I only hope that he sees in me what I see in him and that is a person willing to give their all for what they love.
I’ve never been a fan of cooking. While I’m skilled at fashion the same cannot be said for cooking. I’m not the girl who can just whip something up, that’s not happening. I need help, I need step by step instructions to not ruin a meal. So I’ve been toying with the idea of trying a service that sends me all of the ingredients to make the meal, and all I have to do is follow the directions.
So I jumped off the ledge and decided to try Blue Apron. Now I don’t have a lot of down time so I have to plan for when I’m going to cook. When I made my first meal I was a little nervous, but it turned out well. I said to myself there you have it you can do this. The thing that I really like is if I don’t want meals for any particular week I can cancel the order. The program is a bit pricey at $60 per week but it works for me.
I am no longer nervous to make a meal as I don’t have to be creative, Blue Apron does that for me.
So finally cooking does not cause me undue stress. Yay!!